Fall Off a Roof Ladder Made Easy In Record Time!
Planning to keep some cash in your pockets by doing your own roof repairs? This is great if you are familiar with the taks and prefer to resist calling a roofing contractor to do the job. Be forewarned however that the money you save on fixing your roofing shingles may result in a shocking bill from the emegency department at the hopsital. If you really enjoy extra medical expenses, here are some helpful guidelines for falling off your roof (or ladder) faster than you can say “Jack Robinson!”
•Wait until it’s really pelting down rain and climb up on your roof on the slippery shingles. It’s a bonus if the wind is blowing ferociously . •Even better, hold out until you have a spring thaw and overnight freeze and then get up there in your rubber-soled sneakers. It’s ideal for landing on your nose before tumbling over the edge. •Tary a little longer for cocktail hour after work to celebrate your team’s latest accomplishments and then venture up on the ladder when you get home. If your blood alcohol level doesn’t get you pulled over by the state troopers first, your roof will surely shove you off. •On that note, hold out until you are lounging in bed getting over the flu and you are drugged up with flu medication causing drowsiness. Guzzle it down, wait for 15 minutes and then try to coordinate your limbs off the upper rung of the ladder. •Put on your safety harness and attach it to the lightweight satellite dish mounted on the edge of the roof with 4 tiny screws. Now lean over the edge as far as you can go. Very effective. •Here’s one of the favored scenarios – set your 6-ft. ladder on top of a scaffold rather than wisely taking out your extension ladder. Don’t losr the time by locking the wheels on the scaffold. •This one is really fun – place your extension ladder on the highest side of the roof just where you can’t quite reach to climb over the edge. “Walk” the ladder by jumping in the air for a nano-second and yanking it sideways, all while working from an upper rung. •Last but not least, challenge yourself by hunkering your full length over the kitchen skylight since it reminds you of your younger days as a rock-climber. Hopefully you don’t have a pot of boiling water on the stove when you smash through the glass and land on it.
Now, of course no one desires for you to have this kind of accident, so take all the important safety precautions before attempting your own roof repairs. If you feel in any way notready to climb onto the top of your house, let an experienced roofer take care of the roof leaks for you.